Vortex of Nothingness
by georgley
Summary: Dawn loved to watch her baby sleep, to see the innocence on his face...


In a world full of pain and anger, she loved to watch her baby sleep. To see the innocence on his face; to believe that maybe his soul could still be saved. Maybe it wasn't too late for him.  
  
Maybe he could still escape before the vortex of nothingness swept him up in its path, sucked him dry and left him to rot, like it had done to her husband and eldest son.  
  
There was still hope for her baby, the vortex hadn't quite caught up with him yet. He was still twisting and sidestepping, always staying just out of its reach.  
  
She knew it was partly her fault; knew that her baby could still be **_someone_**. He could still be great. But time was running out. Her baby was nearly grown, becoming the man she never wanted him to be.  
  
She'd had dreams for him. Dreams where he smiled, laughed, dreams where he went to college and found his passion, dreams where he left that vortex of nothingness far behind and she would be there and she would be proud of him and because he was **_better_**, she would be too.  
  
But those dreams had been forgotten and replaced with a reality where her baby's beautiful blue eyes were shrouded with fear and despair, where his skin was bruised and she did nothing... nothing but stand back and let the bastards break him.  
  
And she watched through a drunken haze as the vortex began to catch up with him, and he stumbled, crying out for help and she tried to catch him but he was just out of reach and she wasn't **_enough_**... and he had to save himself.  
  
Being a mother had never been part of her plan, but she'd wanted her husband to love her and she was scared and she'd thought that maybe... maybe if they had children that they'd be happier. They could be like one of those families that she saw on television, that talked to each other and helped each other and loved each other.  
  
So she'd given him two sons. Two precious gifts that she'd thought would save her. But her boys were hungry and they needed food and clothes and shoes and they just needed and she couldn't help them and her husband got swept up by the vortex and then she was on her own... but she wasn't really because her boys were still there and they still needed.  
  
She couldn't be what they needed her to be. She tried... really she did. She didn't want to be the drunken whore that she knew was but she didn't know how to be anyone else. She didn't know how to be a mother to those two gifts that she had been given.  
  
Life kept going and the bills kept coming and the boyfriends moved in and she thought that each one might save her and her boys and keep that vortex away from them. But the boyfriends moved out and each one took just a bit more of her boys' souls and each time that vortex would come just a bit closer.  
  
She saw the vortex catch her eldest son, watched helpless as it mercilessly took everything good he had to give to the world and left behind the broken shell of a boy who had had to become a man too soon. And she knew she hadn't been perfect but had she really been so awful as to deserve this...  
  
She wanted to save her baby, but she didn't know what to do, or say, or be to him. And she just hoped that maybe he would be able to save himself, maybe he would be able to stay out of the vortex's reach and maybe he'd be able to save her too.  
  
And she stood and watched him sleep on the couch in the pool house, saw glimpses of the little boy he'd never been able to be and her heart broke for him and for her too and she knew that it was too late for her. The vortex had claimed her a long time ago and her son couldn't save her and suddenly she knew, she **_knew_**!  
  
This rich family, they could love him and they could save him and he could be happy. She would give these people the only thing she had left to give, the most precious gift she had ever been given. And they would appreciate the gift like she had never been able to.  
  
She knew, she knew the vortex wouldn't be able to touch him here. 


End file.
